Vale, Stefano: Paul Feig x The Rake Cocktail Column

Bartenders are family. We all have our favourites, the ones we look forward to greeting when we enter our regular bar or club — the ones who always look pleased to see us even when they’re buried in the evening rush. They become family because they often know us better than some of our biological kin. They know what we like, what we do, how we relax and, sometimes most importantly, what we don’t like. To have a conversation with them while they multitask in front of us — making us laugh or lending an invested ear — helps us feel special, like we’re in a secret club. We sometimes feel a pang of jealousy when another regular enters and gets an equally enthusiastic and familiar greeting from them, but still, that can bond us to that rival as our bartending friend introduces us and we realise we have something in common: our affection for our favourite mixologist.

I lived at the Hotel Eden in Rome for five months while shooting my movie Another Simple Favour in 2024. Tipsy and I had stayed there on multiple occasions over the years and had always enjoyed going to their upstairs bar, which has a spectacular 280-degree view of the city. But since we were only ever there for a day or two, our visits were limited to a quick drink before dinners and outings.

It wasn’t until Tipsy stayed there after we hosted our Instagram show Cocktail Time! during the pandemic that the Eden’s bartender Stefano Briganti came into our lives. He recognised her from our videos and treated her like a rock star. She called to tell me about the funny, lovely, one-of-a-kind bartender who admired our work. So when I moved into the Eden for my film, the first thing I did was head to the bar to meet Stefano.

Sharing stories about those we love and lose, remembering their laughter and the good times, brings them back to us.

Stefano likes that I often wear cowboy boots with my suits. One night he excitedly came to the table with a smoke- filled dome, which he lifted with a flourish to reveal a martini he’d created for me, with the stem of the glass pushed down inside a miniature cowboy boot. That’s Stefano in a nutshell. Beloved by his co-workers and customers alike, he makes everyone feel special and brightens everyone’s day.

I’ve been writing this story in the present tense because I’m trying to pretend for as long as possible that Stefano is still at the bar, still with us, and still making drinks and delighting people. Sadly, I can’t any longer. Stefano was killed in Rome earlier this year while riding his motor scooter home from work.

As with anyone we love and lose, it doesn’t seem possible that their energy, their joy, their presence can be snuffed out so suddenly. I like to think it can’t be. Sharing stories about them, remembering their laughter, reliving all the good times we had with them keeps them alive and brings them back to us. With a heavy heart but very fond memories, I raise a glass to my friend Stefano Briganti. You shall not be forgotten, dear one. Salute.